Hey, Dad!

Hey, Dad!
---------

I saw you through the plate glass window at Lori's, on the corner
of Cleveland and Buford streets.
At least I thought it might be you-- your shape--the way you stand--that wild tangle of hair--

But the chances were slim since you said "I am uncomfortable because of time
gone by."

Then there were the street crossings
to avoid me on the other side --
The times you vanished in the bookstore as I walked in --
Your face covered with hair like an infant--out of sight--invisible--
But I saw you --- anyway --- through the bouquet --
Your face hidden in red and fear --

How does a father become so trivial ... so sinister ... so discard-able ... ?
Sure, the divorce ... a sun-baked prairie of distance --
Now a decade
And there you are, waiting for a light to turn ...

Do I step out? ... become the beast that barges from a savage, dark wood?
Do I wait for you to pass by ... another decade slipping through?

I step into the light and approach the curb, watching the signal ...
Will you reveal some truth? ... acknowledge?
Retreat or hide? ... scamper to the thicket of streets and cars?

You pass by -- oblivious -- no evasion -- no fear --
I watch your form from the back grow small a block away -- I turn to face the
rest of my day ... puzzled ... perhaps relieved ...
As I descended the steps into the student center a voice breaks out from the sky somewhere:

"Dad! ... Jim! ... Dad!"

I turn with weak, tired eyes and stare into a glaring sun
and the silhouette of a young woman.

--it is you --

"Hi," I say. -- "Hi," you respond ...

I can't figure out why you would run -- not walk -- two blocks to reach me in this way --

It was a short conversation ... a few phrases exchanged ... you asked about my walking stick,
then you say -- "Just because we don't talk, doesn't mean I don't think about you ..."
Then you are gone or I am gone maybe I am not even there.

All I can do was watch you, once a again growing small growing distant
obscure ...

josjr(2010 0127)
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