Nonrenewal

Nonrenewal
---------

a student worker
said--
casually--

"why don't you just
retire?"

when I received my
non-renewal of appointment
from the university ...

a simple statment.
a simple observation.
a simple conclusion.
a simple solution.

--to a problem

that was far to complex
and
obscure

for such clarity.

is that how youth
really is,
confident

that the sun will rise ...
that the dew will accumulate
upon the grass
and that the mississippi
will reach the gulf of mexico?

i guess the problem
--for me--
is the word

"retire"

to think about it
is like eating
a handlefull of dried
alfalfa,
a musty mix
of fiber and countryside ...

am i ready to
tread down such a path?

--is it the driveway
to the rendering plant?

--is it a path
to new adventures
with one less eye,
a lot of worn tread
and too many tecnologies

dripping off
and puddling around my feet?

the old burr oak across the street
stands firm,
but leafless--

the mississippi doesn't
really care,
its silt slides down the gullet
of a nation
yielding to yet another
shift in the tectonic plates
of history,

buckling and snapping
like dusty straw
spread out upon the floor
of barn stalls.

maybe the student
meant

re...tire...
get a new set of wheels

---

i raise a magnifying glass
to the computer screen to see
if what i've written
matches
what I've thought

and i think of the young
woman at the coop
packing my grocery bags.

I am in awe
at how those
fingers and eyes
move so deftly,
with ease,
speed
and
tranquility ...

I string my left arm
through the straps
and prepare for the
two block walk
back home

turning away from the cashier

i hear a woman wearing a
hijab and a long,
dark, flowing dress
yell out:

"sir!"

she's holding my walking stick
and smiling ...

she's the same woman
who has walked with me
--at times--
past the
east seward tower
and shouts words of caution
when i'm on the verge of
colliding with signpost
that somehow

materialized,

right there,

in front of me...

josjr (2010 1114) ...
http://josjr.com